Forbidden Love (Ian Somerhalder Fanfiction)
by EpicElle1
Summary: Sophia Romero a girl who Ian never forgotten about but knew nothing could ever happen between them both. What happens when after thirteen years when they come face to face after the tragic night of July 4th 2000. Will they be able to put the past behind them? Or will resentment still hold after all this time?
1. Big Break

**_Too often, we carry around things from our past that hurt us, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You're told not let negative experiences from the past rob your present of a happy future. Sometime it's a lot easier said than done because when the past comes and haunts you. There nothing you can do to control those emotions especially when they enter your life after thirteen years. When you think you finally got over that tragic part of your life it literally bites you in the ass…_**

 **Sophia P.O.V**

I'm Sophia Romero I'm originally from Covington Louisiana. My family was a pretty normal family there was only myself and my brother Santino. I'm the youngest out of the two of us only by four years. Believe me Santino still thinks that I'm still that six year old little girl with pigtails. Sometimes it's really annoying but I know he loves me it's just that overprotective brother syndrome. Growing up in Covington was okay but all I wanted was to get out. I wanted to more out of life than to get married and have kids and be that little house wife. It was something I wanted once. But when you've been burnt by the one person you saw your whole life with. You're prospective and goals all changed. It wasn't about marriage and babies anymore it was about having a career. It was about making something of myself to have all the things I wanted in life. So once that jerk was out of my life I decided to focus on me.

I got into NYU where I focus on my fashion degree where I wanted to eventually I wanted to have my own fashion line. That kind of changed once I helped with the production of The Phantom Of the Opera NYU drama department yearly show. I wanted to focus more on costume design so I changed my course and focus on that. I like the idea of recreating custom from the past and how just one piece of clothing makes such a statement. Of course with the changes in my education my parents and Santino were not happy. I'd gone past caring what they thought these days I was tired of them dictating my life telling me what I should do. So I perused my goal I graduated with honours. Professor Waldrop saw a talent in me that he didn't quite see in others in my class and helped in get on me social ladder of the TV/Film industry.

I started off in small productions unknown short movies but it help to gain my confidence in this kind of industry. I moved to Santa Monica California for 5 years where occasionally I would get the odd job in my passion and in the evening I would work behind a bar. Believe me I didn't think it was going to be this hard to get a foot into the door of being a costume designer. I felt I had to do what I had to finally reach my goal. Of course with my family it's was all great and life was totally amazing. That moving here was the best thing ever. That's the way I sold it all to them I should of become an actress instead of working behind the scene of it all. The one issue I had was my brother Santino he was always insisting to come and visit me. I must of used a million and one excuses for him not to come here cause if he knew the truth he drag me back the Covington. Which was something I didn't want. Actually I never wanted to go back but at times I had to for holidays and doing that brought back all the bad memories.

My love life was none existence. Yeah I dated a few guys here and there but I wouldn't get serious with anyone. I felt that relationships were a waste of time. Reason being when "Your First Love" breaks your heart gives you some pathetic excuse you kinda give up on hopes in love. Yeah well I had one of those douches. Love to me was a waste of time and I became resentful over the years where I didn't see it number one priority. Especially when you see the face of your ex- boyfriend plastered all over the media with his happy ever after. I would see friends fall in love and get married and had kids. I was like maid of honour six times and godmother four times. Each and every time my friends and there partners where trying to hook me up with some guy who "sweet, nice, smart, caring". Yeah well all too good to be true in my eyes. Some people see me as bitter well that there opinion. I'm just seeing that life more important than just falling in love and been given false hopes.

In 2011 things began to look up a little when I was offered to work on the custom designs for a TV show called American Horror Story for Fox network. Well it was interesting working on that set of course I wasn't the head of the department but it was defiantly a foot in the door. I worked with the show for the whole season and it was prettying exciting. Then they picked up season two but it was set in Massachusetts so that meant that I had to up and move. I didn't mind too much really it wasn't like I considered Santa Monica home. I knew apart of this kind of work I would have to move around. So I accept the offer what I didn't realize was when they offered me the position it was for head of the department. Gregory who was the previous head of the team wasn't overly pleased believe me he had a few choice words about it all. None of that really matter to me in this business one thing I learnt is that you have to be ruthless. Yes make friends along the way but sometimes those friends can turn a little nasty on you when you're the one in the lime light.

Talking about friends while working on the show I made truly a friend for life. Loredana Martinez totally crazy, funny, sweet and biggest heart. We instantly connected from the get go. She had been through similar experiences as myself maybe that was the reason why we got on. The one thing about having Loredana in my life she literally thought me to "let it go". Meaning the past and all the resentment I held on to. She believed that life was far too short to dwell on past which was true so I began to adapt her attitude. Which lead too many crazy night out where I couldn't remember half of the things I had done. We ended up getting a place together and that when the fun all began. I felt like the majority of my twenties I had wasted and now was the time to truly live it all up. Which I did in that one year that we lived together and I felt like I was becoming Sophia Romero once again.

When the season two finished I received a phone call from Michael Narducci who was a close friend of the producer of the show I was working on. He had seen my work and he wanted to help with the plot series of some show called "The Originals". I had no idea what it was all about I hardly watched TV shows considering I actually worked on the set of one. I was a little hesitant as I had worked along with Fox all this time and they gave me this big break. Then to move over to CW I felt kind of like a traitor in a sense. Of course Loredana had her opinion on it all and told me to go for it. That I should take all the chances that came my way. As it wasn't sure if I was going to be part of the team for season 3. So I contacted Michael and told him I would meet up with him to discuss this potential offer. I had to go to Atlanta to meet him as that where the show would be set. Of course somehow Loredana worked her way to come along with me I still don't know how she does that.

We caught our flight arriving at Hartsfield-Jackson International airport where we were picked up by a driver and taken to Mandarin Oriental. When we arrived we check and were shown to our room. I was truly impressed with our suite the view was pretty amazing as it looked out onto Peachtree Road. It seemed like that Michael really wanted me to be part of his team. He was pretty confident that this show was going to take off. I wasn't too sure as I didn't like to take risk and also the fact I felt that I kind of made my own little family on American Horror Story set. Of course Loredana was loving this moment right now as she went rushing from room to room. All I was hearing is "OMG" from her while I was on the terrace. There was another reason why I wasn't too keen about taking this offer and I wasn't too sure if I was ready to face that demon just yet.

"Sophia this is amazing!" I couldn't help but laugh at Loredana as she seemed like a little kid at Christmas with her behaviour. That was the one thing I admired and adored about her she had this sprite about that was so unique.

"Yeah…. it's okay" I smiled at her turning back to the view of the city. I just didn't know if I was ready for something like this meaning facing that demon.

"Okay? Did you just say it's okay?" She grabbed me and turned me to her "Are you being for real? This is AWESOME." Loredana looked at me sceptically "This isn't about moving to Atlanta is it?" I knew where she was going with this Loredana could always read me like a book. That was something she could do from the very moment I met her.

"Everything will change if I get this offer. You know I'll be here you'll be god knows where" I was trying to get the tension off the true reason why I was changing my mind about all this. "You know what I'm gonna call Michael tell him I'm not interested" I began to head back into the room then Loredana blocked my path.

"No, no, no young lady. You're not going to give a this amazing opportunity because of…" I had to cut her off before she went on her rant about it all.

"It's not about that" I insisted. Well it was like 70% that but I wasn't going to let Loredana think that "It's just I built a family with you guys and I'll be here all alone. I've done that a lot of that over the years. I just don't think this isn't for me" I just wanted to leave as this was all becoming overwhelming for me.

"Sophia Romero" Loredana spoke firmly was she placed her on my shoulders forcing me to look at her "You are a stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know you don't want me to mention it and I won't because you don't need to keep reliving that moment. But you have to sometime face your demon to overcome them." I knew she was making some kind of sense as it's true you have to face your worse fears to truly become stronger. Was I ready to face that fear? Because I felt that maybe I will crumble and I wasn't ready for that. To revert back to that girl I once was. "So go and get showered and ready show Michael Narducci what you're made of. Cause opportunities like this don't' come around often" Loredana was right they didn't. There was always some upcoming that was that little better that was proven when they dropped George for me.

With Loredana last words I went and got showered and ready. I didn't feel as nervous about it all anymore. This was a golden opportunity and why should I let that douche ruin my life further. I can't continue to live holding on to my past it was all about looking into my future. Loredana wasn't going to let me go alone as she thought I wasn't going to actually go the meeting at the CW studio. No matter how much I protest she insisted she was coming. There was no point in arguing with her as somehow she always won. We got into the town car and drove the studio. The whole car journey I felt nervous it was a combination of things from this meeting and….. Well I was trying to not think of the other issue. When we arrived Loredana gave me words of encouragement before I entered the building which I needed. As I reached the reception I could feel my heart accelerating I've not felt this nervous before I'm pretty head strong. Like everyone who walks this world I had a weakness and that what I felt uneasy about.

"Hello can I help you?" The receptionist asked. I wanted to turn around and walk out as this wasn't a good idea. I looked behind her where there was a string of art work of all the shows that CW broadcasted and that face that haunted me was right there.

"Ermm…." I felt a little flustered as I spoke to her.

"Sophia Romero…." I heard a male voice say from behind me. I turned to see Michael standing there with a smile "Thank you for coming?" He smiled brightly as he extended his hand and shook mine. There was no going backing out now.

"Pleasure to meet you again Mr Narducci" I tried to keep my voice steady as I spoke. As I was still shaken up by that face. I needed to get it together it's not like I'm going to see him or be anywhere near him.

"Call me Michael. Shall we?" He indicated me to follow him and I nodded.

The meeting was pretty intense we went over the portfolio I had and Michael seemed very impressed with my work and achievements. He began to tell me about this spin off show and the angle they were going to head with it all. It sounded pretty amazing I was always big on shows and movies that were supernatural related. The way this show was going to go I think it would actually be quite successful. I felt it was all going in the right direction I felt comfortable it didn't seem like a formal meeting as such. What I didn't expect was the creator of the show Julie Plec to join us. I didn't expect to actually meet her. She was friendly and laid back which made this experience a little less nerve wrecking. Julia was going through the process of it all and what she would expect from me if I was offered the job. She seemed very big on flash backs and asked how would I feel about making custom from various eras. Well that didn't bother me if anything I loved to do research and create something from another time. History was my second passion I loved the style and how especially the woman portrayed themselves.

"So how do you feel being part of the CW family?" I heard Julie voice snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at her a little confused. "You defiantly have what we are looking for; your portfolio is impressive" She sat there smiling while Michael was mirroring the same expression.

"You're offering me the job?" I really didn't expect for this to happen I just thought that they look at my portfolio and tell me they get back to me. Not that they were going to offer me the job on the spot.

"Well Christopher bragged how much you were great on the set and your have a great eye" Michael added. I was actually surprised that Christopher even did that considering he wasn't overly keen with me leaving. I wonder what changed his mind. "So what do you say?" Michael insisted with a smile. I was still a little hesitant about all this. Was this the right thing for me to do? "Don't sell yourself short Sophia. Believe me I've been in this industry for years and I've not come across someone like you before." This was truly overwhelming and I wasn't sure if I was ready for such a huge step.

"I'll take the job on one condition. That I can chose my own assistant" If I was going to do this then I needed some by my side that I could trust and confine in and they only person I could think of was Loredana.

"Negotiation. I like it" Julie seemed impressed "Well I'm sure you and whoever you have in mind will fit perfectly into our little family. So why don't I show you around" It seems like they already considered me as part of their family. With them no having an issue with taking on Loredana I know I can overcome whatever obstacles come my way.

 **Ian P.O.V**

I was just a small town boy from Covington Louisiana. Where I was brought up by my parents and my siblings. I was the youngest out the three of us and it was a little tedious at times when my older brother and sister would pick on me. My life has been a rush since from the age of ten when I began modelling, for companies like Calvin Klein, Dolce & Gabanna, Gucci, Versace and Guess. I wasn't home much and when I was I spent most of my time with my good friend Santino. He and I were like brother or conjoined twins as our parents would say at times. It was nice at times to be a regular kid I was still the same Ian that he grew up with. Then there was his little sister Sophia. I recall she was that annoying little sister always wanting to play with us when we were kids. Then suddenly one day she grew into this beautiful young lady. Sophia was four years younger but she didn't look it whatsoever. She was something to truly look at and Santino saw that as guys began to notice her. I don't know how many noses he actually broke who actually looked at Sophia. Let's just say no guy was right for her in Santino eyes.

Sophia and I began to gain a close relationship. I don't know what it was about her but it was like we connected. It's strange to think you look at a person in a certain way for so many years. Then suddenly that all changes that you feel instant bond with them. At first Sophia and I used to hang out watch movies go bowling and amusement arcade. Then Santino began to get a little funny about it all making comment to Sophia to stop drooling over me. That she shouldn't be throwing herself at me but it wasn't like that. There was feeling from both of our sides. We both of us feared how Santino would act when he would find out we were a couple. We were a couple for about 3 years without him knowing. Sophia was my first love she was everything I wanted in a woman I saw myself spending my whole life with her. We shared the same attributes in life how we both wanted to make a difference in this world. On July 4th 2000 that all changed when everything came out and it wasn't pretty whatsoever. I couldn't live in Covington after what happened I just couldn't face it all.

For four years I withdrew from my family I moved to New York to try and regain some form of life to forget about my old one. That was proven a little difficult when the holidays would come around. I had to make excuses to not go I had too much work on or I was out of the country. Which worked at time but when I would hear my mom tell me that she missed seeing me I would cave in. Going back to Covington I would always avoid the Romero house as much as possible because I couldn't deal with the confrontation. Even though I knew Sophia didn't live there no more she was in California there was still Santino who was still out for my blood.

In the same year I was cast for the role of Boone Carlyle for the TV show Lost. I loved every moment of it as I was filming in Hawaii a true paradise. That year I began to date Niky Hilton I hadn't really dated anyone since Sophia. There had been women in my life but it was more hook up rather than a relationship. There wasn't a real big attraction to Niky but I knew I needed to move on from Sophia. Niky was sweet and everything but I didn't have a connection with her. I didn't think it was fair to string her along and let this relationship get any deeper. So after a few short months of being together we both called it a day. That point in my life I didn't know if anyone would be the girl for me I had her but I screwed up. So I gave up on the whole serious relationship and I turned into a real playboy. That all changed when I began to get a connection with my co-star on Lost Maggie Grace. We got on really well I thought that maybe this relationship might of gone somewhere. Being with Maggie made me forget about all the errors I had done that maybe there was still some kind of hope for me. Unfortunately Maggie thought it was going to fast that that she was too young to get into a serious relationship. So it was the end to that relationship. Maybe I didn't deserve to be happy and I needed to accept that.

In April 2009 I dated Ashley Green for a while you may know her as Alice from the hit movie Twilight we got on great she was a sweet girl. The issue was I didn't connect with her on an emotional or psychical level. At that point in my life I wanted to give up on women completely. I had adoring fans that found me attractive and would do anything to date me. None of them were her. Meaning Sophia and maybe I'll never find someone like that again. As I had her in my grasp and I let her go because of my fears. I just wish I could go back and change how I dealt with everything. Even though I was at this low point again in my life. I was given another great opportunity to be one of the main star of a TV show called Vampire Diaries. When I read the script I knew instantly who I wanted to play and that was the older Salvatore brother Damon. I audition for the role and was told within minutes that I had gotten the role I saw this as a high point in my life. That it was going to be the right kind of distraction I needed because no matter where I turned my past bit me in the ass. I knew that the books of the Vampire Diaries had been successful. With it being the era of vampire being popular due to the hit movie of Twilight I had a feeling this show was going to be a hit. What made it all that little better is when I found out that I would be co-screening with Paul Wesley. Paul and I had done project in the past and we had great chemistry when working together. Julie and Mark saw that and hoped we bring that to the show. I knew that Paul and I would have no issue is showing that.

So filming began on the TV show The Vampire Diaries in the summer of 2009 the cast of the show were all pretty young in there early twenties. Only Paul and I were the older ones. The main stars of the show was myself and Paul and of course the beautiful Nina Dobrev. For a young lady she really did have some talent. Nina and I became close over the months we had a lot in common we would go out and have fun, she was a really laid back person but also very focus of where she wanted to go in life. She reminded me of Sophia in some ways I think that's why I took the time to get to know her. Over the months feeling began to developed for Nina with us both working so closely together and the fact she was absolutely stunning and funny how couldn't I fall for her? February 14th 2010 Nina and I began to officially date after I took her out for a romantic meal. What I was surprised about is that she had an attraction to me as much as I had with her. The first time we made love it was different to what I had in the past. Nina was the type of girl who wanted to be loved in the bedroom more on a sensual kind of level.

We had been together for three years and each and every moment with Nina had been amazing. I even brought her to Covington to introduce her to my family and this time around I didn't feel nervous. Or did I feel uneasy about being there I wanted to show off my beautiful girl. The fans loved us together as they wanted the whole Delena thing to happen. Our relationship was about publicizing Delena it was about the both of us being in love. When we were not filming we went on some pretty amazing vacations together. Life was just perfect I couldn't ask for anything else. We were into filming season four of Vampire Diaries the fan base for the show was amazing. Going to convention was even more amazing. It was the peak of my life right now and nothing could really ruin that.

We just finished filming a scene when Elena turned off her humanity because her brother had just die. It was pretty difficult to do something so serious when we were all a bunch of goof balls. After so many takes we finally wrapped up. I was walking off set with Nina when saw Julie and Michael with a blonde lady. I stopped suddenly as I watched them talking to her and she nodded away and smiled. I truly couldn't believe my eyes after 13 years I was coming face to face with her once again.

"Ian you okay?" I heard Nina voice beside me. I just couldn't stop looking at the woman across the way who looked a splitting image of Sophia. Could it actually be Sophia? "Ian you look like you've seen a ghost" Nina spoke with concern. I just stood there frozen as Julian and Michael approached us with the blond who I knew for sure now was Sophia I had no doubt about it now.

"Hey guys. I would like to introduce you to Sophia Romero. She going to be the head of the wardrobe department for The Original spin off" I felt speechless as Sophia stood there looking awkward. We hadn't seen each other since that July 4th right now I felt a mixture of emotions. Emotions that I've kept buried for thirteen years just came flooding to the surface the one emotion that overwhelmed me was guilt. "Sophia this is Nina she plays Elena and this is Ian who plays the irresistible Damon Salvatore" Julia spoke proudly while Sophia seemed a little uncomfortable with the situation. "Can I leave Sophia in your capable hands while Michael and I just go over the contract" This was not happening right now there was clear tension in the air and it seemed like only Sophia and I felt it.

"Julie I think I'll get going you could email me all the details." Sophia seemed flustered as she spoke I could see the blush in her cheeks. I always thought she looked beautiful when she did that and today was no exception. I just couldn't believe how much she had changed. She still looked like the Sophia I knew all those years ago but there was something a little different about her. I wanted to speak to her and explain my action for why I did what I did. I knew Sophia too well she wouldn't hear me out not after all this time. I just regret that I didn't do it sooner maybe if I did then maybe she would of forgave me.

"Don't be silly Michael and I will be few moment" Julie insisted before walking away. I could see that Sophia wanted to get the hell out of here and who could blame her. I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to come across rude or arouse spurious. Then I notice Sophia looking at me with slight anger in her eyes. I knew what that meant that she was going to let rip at any moment. Just like Santino she held the same temper but she knew how to sustain it. Right now it looked as if she was going to blow. I notice that Nina was looking between the both of us a little confused.

"Do you two know each other already?" Nina asked a slight jealous tone. I knew what that tone was it was the one she would use when she thought I had been with someone. Nina was a lot younger than me and sometime she didn't like the fact that I've been with a few women. I was about to speak but Sophia spoke.

"Yeah Ian and I go way back" She spoke bitterly while still glaring over at me. "Don't we Ian" She spoke my name venomously I really didn't need her to create a scene right now. I knew I deserved it but I couldn't let her bring up the past up right here right now.

"Sophia…." I warned her. This didn't need to come out right now not in this way.

"Ian what going on?" Nina spoke with slight concern in her voice.

"The last time we saw each other I was rush into the emergency room left for dead. You recall that night Ian?" As Sophia spoke I recalled that night like it was yesterday. Reliving it all in my mind was as horrid as the actual night. Nina stood there looking horrified while Sophia looked at me with no remorse "Oh Nina I guess you didn't know your perfect boyfriend as well as you thought. Nice meeting you Nina." Sophia walked away leaving me still haunted by that night. You can't go back to how things once were or how you thought they were supposed to be. All you really have is now. The smartest thing you can control in life is your reaction to what's beyond your control. Dwelling on negativity from the past simply contributes to its power. So stop focusing on what happened and start focusing on what's going to move you forward. Could it really be that simple? Can I really let Sophia walk away and not know the truth of that night?


	2. Always Two Sides To Every Story

_The phase "it's not you, it's me" It really should be, 'it's not you, it's me not loving you anymore... Or me wanting to sneak off without you making a scene about the real reason. Because that is really the gist of it. They may still like you and respect you a lot, but for whatever reason, they don't love you enough anymore to want to be with you. Whether the reason is they met someone else, or they're bored with you, or they've decided you're not the one for them… or who knows..._

 _Sometimes, when people decide to leave you for good, you have to let them. No matter how much you don't want them to. There are some things that are far beyond our control. Even if you have the strength to fight for them, you have to accept the cold harsh truth - the people that you can't live without, can live without you_

 **Sophia P.O.V**

I was impressed that my negotiations method worked that I would have Loredana working along with me. Plus I know she will be ecstatic and will attempt to hit on most of the cast if this series picks up a prime time slot. From what I saw that Michael and Julie showed me it was a pretty hot cast. That alone and the plot they have planned for this it will be a total hit. I wanted to leave and go and celebrate with Loredana. You know party it up before getting all serious with work. That was a short lived moment when Julie wanted to show me around. When she said that I had this gut retching feeling in my stomach that I would see that ass. I should I listen to my gut because after being introduce to all these amazing people that I'm going to be working alongside with. Then I was in the most awkward moment in my life coming face to face with Ian. After 13 years of avoiding and flicking the channels when his on TV there he was. Not alone may I add. With Nina his girlfriend of three years. Apparently there in a very loving relationship from what I've been told.

I tried so hard to keep my composure but I couldn't. As I looked at the face of the guy I once knew everything came flooding back. Everything single thing I went through and even till this day I hadn't got over it. Then there was Ian who had this perfect life. Stardom reaching all of his goals having women hanging off his arm. He carried on with his life like I meant nothing and that hurt. So I had to say my piece I needed for Nina to know what a wonderful man she dedicated her life to. As soon as it all came out I soon regretted it all. Ian stood there looking horrified along with Nina. I didn't want to upset Nina but I wanted to say my piece to Ian to remind him of what he did. How he left me there dying in the bed and never to be seen again. No explanation no nothing.

I walked away and I wanted to die because the way I reacted wasn't like me. That what Ian did to me even as kids I would not think rationally. It was like when I used to look into those blue eyes of his I was under some hypnotic spell to speak my mind. I hated that he had that effect on me even till this day after 13 years of resentment he still had it. I didn't even wait around for Julie and Michael to come back. I sent Michael a message telling him I had an appointment I forgot about. It was a lame excuse and I'm pretty sure my outburst will be all over the set right now. It wouldn't surprise me if I don't even get the job now because of all that. Just wonderful!

I made my way out of the building as I felt like I was hyperventilating after everything began to settle in my mind. How stupid of me to make that scene this was exactly what I didn't want to happen. It my own fault I was the one who lost it after Nina asking if we knew each other. As I walked to the car I could see a very excited Loredana smiling widely. How was I going to explain all this to her?

"Did you get it?" She asked with excitement in her voice "Don't keep me in suspense Sophia. Did you or didn't you?" Loredana was more excited about this than I was because deep down I knew something like this would happen. It was evitable that I would have seen Ian at some point.

"I don't think after what just happened there going to want me working for them" I told her as I walked towards the car leaving her behind. I didn't want to go into all this right now all I wanted was me and a bottle of pinot grigio and attempt to forget everything.

"What?" I heard Loredana speak in disbelief as she grabbed hold of my arm turning me around in the process. She looked at me for a long moment "Sophia I know that look. You saw him didn't you?" She always knew how to read me like a book and there was no point in trying to tell her otherwise. As Loredana like a dog with a bone she won't give up until she finally hears the truth from me.

"Yeah I did and I officially embarrassed and screwed up my professional career" I began to reliving the moment back in my mind. The only person who I felt sorry for was Nina. I could see how she was in love with Ian. God I gotta stop feeling guilty for my actions his the reason why I'm like this. Maybe Nina needed to find out what kind of person she's lying beside night in night out.

"You know what Mr _Ian Somerhalder_ needs to hear a few home truths" Loredana was about to walk towards the entrance I stopped her. As much as I wanted her to go in there and say her piece to Ian I couldn't let her. Not for his sake but for hers. One thing about Loredana Martinez she may look all sweet on the outside but push her she can be your worst nightmare.

"No Loredana I've made enough of a scene" She looked at me not convinced. With what happened it was probably a sign. Who was I kidding that I would be about to work in area as him. "Look let's get out of here. I'm done here" All I wanted to do is go back to that hotel order a few drinks and arrange a flight back to Massachusetts.

"Sophia…" I heard Michael call out my name. I turned to see him walking towards us. "Hey I'm glad I caught you. Here's a hard copy of your contract" He handed me a brown envelope "We want you to start Monday for the pilot" Okay I wasn't expecting this. I thought after what happened the position not going to be offered.

"You still want me for the position?" Just to confirm that Michael was sure about all this. Then I felt Loredana nudge me lightly and giving me the look.

"Why wouldn't we? You Sophia Romero are going to be an asset to us" It seemed what happened wasn't spoke of or Michael and Julie didn't seem bothered about my outburst. As I began to processes everything I could see Loredana giving me the eye to say what was I doing.

"Michael this is Loredana the assistant who will be joining me" The look upon her face was priceless. If I was going to do this I needed her by my side. Michael shook Loredana hand with a smile.

"Well Loredana I'll be seeing you Monday too. You both have a great weekend" With that he walked away maybe when you Face your fears and doubts, and new worlds will open to you.

Of course Loredana was totally surprised to hear that I wouldn't take the offer without her working with me. The last two season on American Horror Story was only great because I had made such a good friend. We helped each other out and when we worked as a team we were epic together. That what was needed with this new show to have that dynamic brought into it. Once again all I heard from her was "OMG" but it wasn't annoying. I knew she was happy that we would both be working and living together in Atlanta. We arrived back at the hotel instantly Loredana began to raid the mini bar I was about to protest but there wasn't any point.

"There something I've always wanted to ask you?" She spoke with a little hesitation as she sat forward on the couch "It's about what happened between you and Ian" The tiny bit of a high I was on instantly dropped down "God I shouldn't I mentioned it. I'm Sorry" She sat back on the couch and sipped on her white wine. I knew she was always curious about the whole story. I just gave the brief rundown of it all not because I didn't want to tell her. It's just when I thought about it all it just hurt too much.

"No it's fine. It's nothing personal it's just I've never speak about that night to anyone. Not Even to my own family" I placed my glass on the coffee table "You never met Santino my brother" I looked up to her "He and Ian were like best friends from when they were kids. Totally inseparable" I smiled at the thought I how close they were.

"Santino your brother? You hardly mention him. I know you told me his protective is he the reason behind what happened?" I didn't speak about Santino because even though he thought we were on these great terms. We weren't because every single time we would see each other it's would start of great then he bring up what happened.

"He didn't know about us." It was time for me to tell Loredana what happened. Not matter how difficult it will be because a best friend isn't someone who's just always there for you. It's someone who understands you a bit more than you understand yourself.

 **Flash Back**

 _ **It was the year 2000 I had turned 18 graduated from high school and things were on the ups. Since the age of 15 I had been dating Ian he was just 3 years older than me. Age didn't really matter to either of us lest of to him. Strange to think I was dating the one guy who once I looked at like another older brother. Ian wasn't like Santino if anything he was a lot nicer. When we were growing up he would put Santino in his place especially when he was being mean to me. Ian just as me was the youngest in his family so he knew exactly how this all felt. I guess that was the connection between us also the fact we wanted to make a difference in the world. Ian saw him and me one day opening some kind of foundation to raise money for certain awareness. With his modelling career picking up and with me heading to college. The dream of us being together not in hiding was finally coming to a reality.**_

 _ **Like every summer I would go to the Hamptons to visit my grandparents and the year of 2000 was no exception. As this summer was going to be a little different. I've always been close to my grandmother it was like she was a second mom to me. The year before she caught me on the phone talking to a "boy" and the questions began. I told her about how we had been in a relationship and she was actually happy because she knew Ian was a good guy. I did tell her that Santino wouldn't be happy and she assured me that her and my grandfather would keep it all a secret. Like I said summer of 2000 was different reason being my grandparents had invited Ian to stay for the summer. So we didn't need to sneak around that we could be a normal couple. This all surprised me but my grandmother told me I was an adult now and if we survived this so far. Then maybe after a whole summer together we could finally come out in the open. Ian took the whole summer off and the time we spent together was truly amazing. To be able to hold his hands while walking down the street. To go out and have fun and not look over my shoulder thinking Santino might be near. That summer was just one word "epic".**_

 _ **When July 4**_ _ **th**_ _ **would come about in the Hamptons they truly went all out. My grandparents would throw a huge party in their home that was like big event around those parts. Evening came and it was great seeing all the people and friends I've made over the years. Then there was the best part of it that they finally saw the face to the name Ian that I spoke of. It was getting over crowed and I indicated to Ian to follow me. I went up the stairs as I hit the landing I felt strong pair of arms embrace me.**_

" _ **Sneaking from your grandparent's party. How very naughty of you?" Ian spoke as he began to kiss my neck. I turned to face him and began to smirk as I unwrapped his arms from my waist guiding him into my room. I wanted him more than anything I wanted this July 4**_ _ **th**_ _ **to be about us.**_

" _ **Well I just thought….." My words were cut off with a kiss. Ian hands began to roam all around my body sending tingling sensation all over my body. Even after all this time he still gave me chills and excitement like it was out first time all over again. We both began to eagerly take each other's clothes off as the desire for one another began to intensify. We both fell back on the bed as we continued to make out. In that one moment it was just him and I that all that matter I didn't care to celebrate with everyone else.**_

" _ **Sophia…." Ian spoke between his kissed as I continued to kiss him hungrily. He pulled away and I sighed "I need to ask you something" Ian spoke with seriousness in his voice.**_

" _ **Can you ask after? We are kind of in the moment right now" I teased as I pulled him closer to me and continued kiss his soft lips. Then he pulled away again which concerned me now. The look upon Ian face was all serious "What's wrong?" I asked the question in fear of hearing the answer. He pulled me up so I was sitting up facing him as he gently began to caress my cheek. "Ian please tell me what on your mind" The mood I was in had faded.**_

" _ **We been together for three years now. I've loved each and every moment of it" I could feel my heart accelerate as where he was going with this felt like he was going to break up with me. "It's been an amazing journey Sophia….." All I thought was this was that moment I had dreaded that Ian had moved on. That he had grown tired of me that he saw me as this little girl. I could feel a lump building up in my throat.**_

" _ **Are you breaking up with me?" I asked trying to keep my voice steady not looking at him because I was frighten to his reaction confirming my fear. Ian placed his hand under my chin forcing me to look up at him.**_

" _ **No baby. I want to spend my whole life with you. I can't see myself being with no one else but you. I love you Sophia Romero" He spoke with sincerity in his voice. I just didn't understand what any of this was about. He leaned over the bed and began to go through his jean pocket. He sat up with one hand behind this back. I don't know what he was up to but I just felt confused one moment he sound like he was telling me bye. The next he declaring his love to me. "Sophia Romero you bring me happiness even in my darkest of days you always know how to make me smile. But I hope you never forget that there is someone who's always by your side. That I will always love you, always wants you, and always cares about you no matter what." I could feel my eyes filling up as Ian spoke. "Will you do me the honour becoming my wife?" With the hand from behind his back he exposed a red velvet box. He opened it exposing the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. Nestled into the black satin bedding the ring sparkled in the dim light. The face was a long oval, set with slanting rows of glittering round stones. The band was gold delicate and narrow. The gold made a fragile web around the diamonds.**_

" _ **Oh my god!" Where the only words that came out of my mouth. I was speechless not only by Ian question but also by this beautiful ring. I looked up to see a worrisome Ian. "Yes! Yes Ian I'll marry you!"**_

I sat back on the couch as the memory of that moment brought back a lot of feeling. Feeling that I didn't want to bring to the surface again. I tortured myself for years reliving that moment in my mind how something so perfect happened. It was like all my dreams all came true at once that I would be spending my whole life with the man I loved. I still remember how I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance. A church filled with family and friends. I asked Ian what kind of a wedding he wished for. He said one that would make me his wife. The sweetness of Love is short lived but the pain endures.

"Ian proposed to you?" Loredana broke me out of my thoughts. "Wow" She sat there wide eyed gulping her drink to recover from what I told her.

"Loredana I'm sorry I can't talk about this anymore" I got up from the couch. As I thought it wouldn't be this hard to talk about it not after all this time.

"Hey!" Loredana called out as she caught my arm "Look I can see this is all upsetting you and I don't want that. We are friends and when you're ready to talk about it all. I just want you to know I'm here." I gave her a small smile before walking away. A true friend knows your weakness but shows you your strengths, feels your fears but fortifies your faith. See your anxieties and frees your spirit, recognizes your disabilities but emphasize your possibilities. That what I had with Loredana and I know in time I'll be able to unfold my story. The wounds are still a little raw but maybe in time I'll rip off the band aid and do what she always taught me. To let the past go maybe it was time just to do that.

 **Ian P.O.V**

I stood there in utter shock as Sophia walked away. How she thought that I walked away and left her for dead is that the story she was told? That I walked away not even tried to see if she was okay? Part of me wanted to go after her and have it out once and for all. I knew Sophia better than she knew herself at time that if I did that there would be a huge scene. The media that stalk outside the studio would love that. Then there was the fact I had Nina in front of me looking totally horrified and asking me what that was all about. I didn't know what to say to her as it was a part of my past I never spoke about to anyone. Cause when I looked back on it all it pained me far too much. Believe me I would of changed a lot of things. I was young and stupid also naïve and I should have done the right thing. The hard cold truth I can't and even if I tried to do anything now would it change anything?

Nina left the set pretty quick I knew she was upset and I went to her dressing room but Dante told me she had left already. I didn't know what to do right now and the fact I didn't know what was running through Nina mind was freaking me out a little. I called her on her cell and she wasn't answering that when I knew she was pissed. Deep down I always knew that the past was always going to come and haunt me. I didn't know who it would have been Sophia or Santino but I knew the day would come when I would see them. All I knew now was that I needed to do some explaining to Nina I can't let what happened in the past ruin what I have now. I left the set and made my way to Nina apartment as I parked up I saw her car in the drive way. I knew I was going to tell her a part of my past that I've never spoke of before not since the year 2000. If this is to work between us she had to know about it. She had to know about the night of July 4th 2000 because if I love her as much as I say I do. Then she needed to know and what worried me is how she going to react to it all.

I got out of my car and made my way to her front door. I rang her door bell and stood there patiently for her to open it moments went by and nothing. I rang it again. I knew what Nina was doing she was ignoring me and I could walk away and forget all this. I just couldn't because since Sophia, Nina been the only woman who I felt the same kind of feelings for. So many have been in my life and nothing ever came close to what I once had until now.

"Nina open the door" I yelled knocking on the door. "I came here to explain. Just hear me out" I just wanted her to know my side to it because the way Sophia made it out that I was a monster. I didn't want Nina to think of that about me. "Please Nina" I stood there looking at the door waiting for it to open but nothing. It seems that she had made hr own judgement about it already. I shook my head and began to make my way back to my car.

"Ian…." I heard her call out. I turned around and saw her in the doorway "I wanna know what happen." I hesitated to go back as I didn't know if I was ready to bring it all to the surface again. This is Nina the woman I claim to love so if I didn't want to lose her I need to endure this. I nodded and made my way towards her she opened the door wider so I could enter. "We talk in the kitchen" She spoke as she walked away from me. I followed behind as we entered she went over to the counter and took a cigarette from a fresh packet and lit it up.

"Your smoking again?" I questioned her. Nina I given up a little while back she wasn't a heavy smoker it was more a social thing. Even I dabbed in having one when I was drinking.

"I'm a little stressed out at the moment Ian. Don't judge" She spoke harshly as she propped herself on the counter. "So tell me about you and this Sophia. Why haven't you ever told me about her? What did she mean you left her for dead?" Nina went straight in with the questions. She had every right to be like this right now and now it was time for me to face the music.

"Baby I know you have so questions running through your mind right now. I will answer them. There things you're going to hear that you might not like" Nina sat there dragging on her cigarette and her expression was filled with even more concern now.

"I don't care Ian. I want to know what happen" I took in a deep breath as I didn't know how Nina was going to take to hearing all this but here I go.

 **Flash Back**

 _ **Sophia and I were dating for three years. The whole time her family were unaware but mine absolute loved her. The main reason behind the whole secretive was down to one member in her family. Santino her older brother. We grew up together we were likes brothers. The thing about being that close to someone you know there good side and there bad. Santino had slight anger issue a real temper. When it came to any guy who even glanced at Sophia especially as she became more of a woman. Santino would make sure they didn't even look at his sister again. Of course Sophia was unaware of his behaviour she thought that he would give them the big brother talk. No it wasn't like that he would go all psycho on them on a few occasions I had to stop him going too far. You may think why did I stick by him as a friend? Well when he wasn't seeing red he was a decent guy and to some degree I could understand why he was protective. Half of the guys that were interested in Sophia were creeps and only wanted her for one thing. Even I didn't like the fact of that either.**_

 _ **Then we happened it wasn't something planned it just happened. I guess when things began to progress with us I realized that I always had some kind of feeling for her. Feeling that I didn't admit to as it's was Sophia. Santino baby sister. I just couldn't hold them back no longer I wanted Sophia more than I wanted anything else. Even though I dropped out of high school and focused on my modelling career we somehow made it work. Be way from home was hard at time. Yeah I lived this amazing life travelling the world but I felt alone. Every time I spoke to Sophia she would make all the negative I was feeling fade away.**_

 _ **It was summer of 2000 and Sophia had invited me to her grandparents' home in the Hamptons for the whole summer. I couldn't think of anything better than to spend a whole summer with her so I clear my schedule. The summer started off great everything was perfect. I saw a different side to Sophia the more chilled and relaxed side of her.**_ **She wasn't on edge and it made things easier that her grandparent's knew about us.** _ **We weren't sneaking around. We could walk around in public and not fear of anyone seeing us. July 4**_ _ **th**_ _ **came and there was a party at the Romero something they threw every year. I recall looking at Sophia across the room and thinking how lucky I was to have her. That if it was possible I would want her to be in my life forever. That when I knew what I had been thinking about was the right thing to do. That night during the party I proposed to her and she said yes.**_

"You proposed to her" Nina snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at her and I knew this one piece of the story would have been a shock to her "Wow…" She took a sip of her wine still astonished by what she had heard.

"You want me to be straight up and honest. I was in love with her at that point in my life I didn't see myself with no one else" I looked up at Nina "She was my first love" Sophia was and I don't know if you can ever get over your first love. One thing I did know I was in love with Nina and with Sophia coming back into my life hadn't changed that.

"So what happened then?" Nina spoke calmly. I was impressed with her taking all this so well. I don't know why I was worried about. This is the reason why I fell in love with her because of her caring nature.

 **Flash Back**

 _ **After Sophia said yes we were both on a high. I couldn't believe she didn't hesitate or even worry what this could mean. We spoke about coming out in the open and Sophia biggest fear was Santino how he was going to react. I didn't want to kill the mood this was about us celebrating the fact we wanted to spend our lives together. Instantly Sophia wanted to tell her grandparent's as they were so supportive about our relationship. We made our way downstairs to tell them. We found her grandmother who when she heard the news she was ecstatic about it all. She dragged us both over to her grandfather and told him the good news. One second he was hugging the both of us the next he was asking the band to stop playing there music.**_

" _ **Can I have everyone attention" He called out and the room "I would like to share with you all the wonderful news I just heard" he spoke proudly while smiling over at the both of us "Looks like there wedding bells in the horizon as Ian just asked Sophia to marry him. Of course She accepted" The room was filled with cheers as Sophia and I shared a passionate kiss. As I pulled away someone caught my eye across the room. Someone who I didn't expect to see. Santino.**_

" _ **Ian you okay?" I heard Sophia say while my focus Santino. He stood there with an expression I couldn't quite figure out. He didn't look happy nor did he looked pissed. "Ian?" I heard her again as I watched Santino approach us.**_

" _ **Sophia…." I began to say but I was cut off by Santino.**_

" _ **Well congratulations are in order" he spoke in an indifferent tone "Sis do you mind if me and my buddy have a little chat" I knew instantly what that meant Santino was up to he didn't want to have a 'chat' this was when he would lay into me.**_

" _ **Santino don't start okay. I'm 18 not a child." Sophia spoke firmly to her brother "I know your pissed that we didn't tell you but can you blame us considering that temper of yours" Sophia wasn't blind he knew her brother didn't like any kind of guy going near her let alone wanting to marry her. I wanted to say something but Santino was unpredictable and I didn't want to cause a scene at her grandparent's party.**_

" _ **It's okay Sophia" I assured here while still looking at Santino. Still he was expressionless but I had to have this conversation with him at some point and now was good time as any. "I won't be long" I gave her a reassuring look before I left with Santino before Sophia could start to protest. We walked out into the back yard and I watched as Santino swiped a bottle of scotch from the bar.**_

" _ **Let's go somewhere a little more quite. We have so much to disgust" I didn't like the sound of all this and if Santino was planning to give me some kind of beating. Then I'm not going to be like those other guys and take it. I followed him and we stopped by the pool house where there was a sitting area.**_

" _ **Look man I know you're pissed. I've wanted to tell you so many times but I know the way you are with Sophia." Santino sat there drinking from the bottle not breaking eye contact "I'm not like those other guys. You know I wouldn't treat Sophia with any disrespect. I love her Santino. I want to spend my life with her." I was hoping that with me being honest with him that it might make him realise that I'm not playing her that this was real love.**_

" _ **You love her?" He questioned me while taking out his phone "Dude you know I'm happy for you and all. I mean your my best friend of course I want you to be happy" He passes the bottle "Bottoms up" he smiles. Santino was acting to calm maybe I was wrong. Maybe Santino was happy about us being together and now I regretted that I wasn't straight from the start. I took a large swig from the bottle and coughed as it was a lot stronger than I thought it would be.**_

" _ **It means a lot you saying that Santino. I'm happy and she means more than anything to me" I couldn't help but smile as I thought about Sophia.**_

" _ **I can see what she means to you. I mean you asked her to marry you. Right? That just says it all" He took the bottle from me and placed on the table "See the thing is Ian I think your perfect for Sophia. I mean look at you. You're the all American guy" I notice that his tone changed slightly "So how long have you and my sister been in this relationship?" This was the dreaded question and once Santino would know the truth he would flip.**_

" _ **Three years" As soon as I said that he grabbed the bottle and took a huge gulp from it "Please don't be pissed Santino" I didn't want him to lose it right now. Then a smile came on his face which kind of surprised me.**_

" _ **Me pissed? Nahhh dude we like bros. right?" All I was thinking at the time was that Santino was taking all this far too well "The thing is my sister gonna be pretty heart broken when she see this" he hold out his phone and shows me a photo of our trip to Vegas. It was me in bed with one of the girls we met there. She was all over me all night long but I wasn't interested and I wasn't even drunk that night I recalled it clear as day. So how the hell did she end up in my bed? "You recall that trip 8 months back to Vegas?" Santino began to grin as he looked back at the photo of the half-naked girl beside me in the picture. "What was her name again? Mindy" He sat there smirking. I couldn't believe he took some picture of some girl in my bed while I was clearly knocked out.**_

" _ **What the hell is that?" I raised my voice at him and I didn't care if he wanted to get all psychical now. I knew nothing happen between me and that girl. That Santino set that up for whatever reason.**_

" _ **Well you know you had a lot to drink one thing lead to another. Well you know" He spoke sarcastically as if I didn't understand what went on that night.**_

" _ **You know for a fact I didn't sleep with her. So do you Santino" I spoke through my teeth as I was trying to control my temper.**_

" _ **I know that. You know that. This picture says otherwise" He puts his phone in his pocket "Your lucky that we been friends for so many years. Cause if this was anyone else there be a lot of blood right now" Santino was sadistic he needed some serious help "So you know what you're going to do right now. You going to go in there break off this stupid ass engagement with Sophia. Get the hell out of the Hamptons." He get up from his seat and come closer to me "I swear to god if I see you anywhere near my sister again I will not hesitate to kill you Ian" Santino threaten me with venom in his voice and I knew he meant every word. I watched as he walked away. That one moment my world was shattered I was going to lose the girl I love either way. This was a moment where I was stuck between a rock and hard place. No matter which direction I took I was going to lose the girl I love.**_

"You know what Ian. This is too much" Nina jumped down from the counter. I felt a little confused why she was acting like this "I think you should leave" She stated firmly. I got up from my sit and began to approach her "Ian please don't. Look I've learnt a tiny part of your past. The woman who you want to spend your life with just came crashing into your life again….."I had to cut her off.

"No! That I _once_ wanted to spend my life with" I wrapped my arms around her waist "I want all of that with you" She pulled me away from her.

"No you were forced. You didn't fall out of love with her. You were forced to walk away" She looked at me regretfully "There some terrible ending to all this I know that. Cause of what Sophia said. Right now Ian I can't handle it. Okay! So can you please leave" Nina stated not looking at me. I knew all this was a bad idea and I should of listen to my gut. I took one last look at Nina before leaving as I knew that this had put a serious dent in our relationship.

 **Sophia P.O.V**

I was an emotional wreck after just telling Loredana a snippet of what happened. I took a bath and cried the whole time I just wanted to hurt and pain to stop. I began to revaluate about this job opportunity I didn't know if I could do it. My career was everything to me and if I screw up just because all this it will be the end of me. All I have is my career I had made my life all about it. I didn't let any guy get close to me because of my fears. I'm 30 years old and what do I have to show? Thinking like that made me even more depressed. After my long soak and being all cried out I went into my room and put some sweat on and laid on the bed. I began to revaluate my life I knew I had to change because this path I was on was a destructive one. I was never going to be happy if I kept holding on to all this. Saying it all in my head was simple and I wanted to do it. I wanted to let go why is it so hard? Did I still have feeling for Ian after all this time? Was I actually still in love with him after everything?

"No, no, no." Loredana voice broke me out of my thoughts as she came into the room "We are not having you moping around and crying over that douche" She began to protest as she pulled me up from the bed "No more tears Sophia Romero because tonight we going to hit the town and celebrate" I was about to speak "No I'm not going to listen to your excuses. I already picked you out something. You young lady have 20 minutes to get your ass ready" I knew there was no point in arguing with her and she was right. We were going to start this new life here and we needed to celebrate.

So I got changed into the dress that Loredana had laid out for me. It was a simple bright blue body-con dress that clung to my body showing all my assets. Considering how crappy I felt a few moment ago right now as I looked at myself I felt good. I was going to go out and enjoy myself and forget about everything. I did my makeup and curled my hair. I walked out of the room and made my way into the living room where I saw Loredana pouring some shots.

"I should have guessed" I spoke as I approached her. She looked stunning as always with her red dress which was on the short side. This was Loredana Martinez she loved to show the guys what they potentially could have. "Tequila" I grabbed a shot glass and drained it.

"Oooo you're in the party spirit. I'm liking it" She picks up two shot glasses hand one to me "To new beginnings" She clinked her glass to mine and we both took the shot.

We left the hotel and hit a few bars it was actually turning out to be a great night. We even resorted to dancing on tables and bars. It was one of those night were I let loose and didn't think about consequences of certain actions. It was shot after shots dancing just having a great time. Somehow we ended up in some club called Magic City we were told it was one of the most popular clubs. We'll let just say I was impressed. The guys in that place were beyond hot. Tonight I decided that I was going to be spontaneous that I was going to live life to the fullest. Believe me I was holding on to that quote. There was a bunch of guys G-Tech who were up for a laugh which was all good for me. There was one in particular who was a little smitten with me. His name was Dean cute looking and we were having a blast dancing and drinking. Of course Loredana approved of it all as she would rather see this side of me than the broken version from earlier.

I don't know what actually happened one moment I'm dancing on the dance floor the next I'm making out with him on the terrace. I knew the drink was clouding my judgement as I could feel him slowly creeping his hand up my dress slowly going up my thigh. None of this felt right it was like that part of me that was rational was slowly coming back. I notice Dean was becoming a little more regressive as he began to man handle me.

"Dean…. Stop…." I didn't want to continue this he was coming across a little too strong for my liking.

"Come on baby, you know you want me" He spoke through his hard kisses. His stubble began to hurt my skin on my face as he roughly kissed me.

"Stop….." I cried out the next moment he was thrown off me. I felt a little unsteady on my feet as all the alcohol I had consumed hit me all at once.

"She told you to stop" As I look up my vison was slightly blurred but I knew who voice that was. I could hear punches been thrown and groan. I felt like I wanted to be sick "Sophia…." I looked up and I felt my head was spinning. I wanted to talk but no words would come out I felt woozy and tried to keep my eyes opened. The next thing I just blacked out.

 **Ian P.O.V**

After my talk with Nina I was over filled with so many emotions from hurt to anger. I was pissed because everything was perfect my life was finally on the up then it just get knocked down in one moment. Did I blame Sophia? God no I didn't of course she going to hold hurt and resentment towards me it's understandable after what I did. It's just with her anger towards me it may have ruined something with Nina and that hurt. Maybe I deserved this. What my life was all great I have this amazing woman I was on the up. After how I treated Sophia I deserved what was happening to me right now. There was one thing that ran through my mind that Nina said _**"No you were forced. You didn't fall out of love with her. You were forced to walk away"**_. Was all that true was I still in love with Sophia? I know if none of that would have happened. If Santino didn't blackmail me the way he did. That my life and Sophia life would be a hell of a lot different. I still remember her face when I spoke to her that night.

 **Flash Back**

 _ **After Santino gave me no other option than to break it off with Sophia. I sat there playing out in my mind what I needed to do. I could let him show Sophia the fake photo of me and some girl I never slept with. Maybe Sophia wouldn't believe it but a picture says a thousand words. I know how hurt she would be to the thought I went with another woman. I could never do that to her. So many times women have tempted me but I loved Sophia far too much for it to be tarnished. So it was her hating me over something I didn't do or to tell her it's over when I didn't want it to be. My hands were tied either way. I got up and took in a deep breath before walking into the house.**_

 _ **As I walked in random strangers were congratulating me patting me on the shoulder telling me I had a great girl. None of this was making it any easier for me. I saw Sophia across the room talking to her grandmother. She looked upset while her grandmother tried to calm her down. I walked over and Sophia looked relived to seem me.**_

" _ **Ian" She instantly hugged me tightly "Santino didn't hurt you" She pulled away and began to examine me. How the hell was I going to do this to her?**_

" _ **No. We had a long chat and I think we need to do the same" I felt my stomach turn as thought about how I was going to break it off with her. "Can we talk somewhere more private?" Sophia looked at me frowning. I took hold of her hand and brought her into the one of the side rooms.**_

" _ **Ian you're worrying me. What did Santino say to you?" Sophia demanded. This right here was the hardest things I ever had to do. Now I had to play a performance of a life time.**_

" _ **Santino just let me see the light that all" I spoke to her coldly as I couldn't show any form of emotions while I done this "I mean look at this? We kept it secret all this time what does that say? I'm 21. I'm just starting life do I really want to tie myself down to you?" I watched as Sophia looked at me horrified that she couldn't believe what I was saying. I was shocked at my cold actions too but Santino was never going to let Sophia and I have a relationship.**_

" _ **Ian what are you talking about? You were the one who proposed to me. You were the one who said that you always be there for me" Sophia began to raise her voice slightly and I could see that she was holding back her tears. Every moment of this was like pure torture but I had to push her away. I would rather her hate me because she thinks that I don't want this life with her. Than her hating me for illegally sleeping with another woman. Either one was going to hurt her but I knew if Santino go to Sophia he would make it a million times worse.**_

" _ **Well I was stupid. It's over Sophia. You're barely an adult I want a woman in my life" I began to walk away from her as it pained me too much to see her like this. She caught my arm stopping form going.**_

" _ **No, no, no" She protested. I knew that she didn't believe me my actions with her over the last 3 years even the last couple of days proved that she was the only one for me. I knew I had to make it all even more believable.**_

" _ **You want the truth. I was only in this because it was easy. I mean look at you. You would do anything to please me. Not really much of a challenge….." Suddenly she slaps me across the face the next she ran off. I stood there as I felt my world was frozen as I let the one good thing in my life just slip away. My thoughts were broken by the sound of screeching tires and a scream not anyone's scream but Sophia. I went rushing out of the house and there she was in the middle of the road with blood pouring from her head. The car that hit her had sped off.**_

 _ **One moment I'm standing in the middle of the road looking down at the girl I love half dead on the ground. The next I was in the ER I couldn't remember much of what happen in between. All I kept doing was pacing while they were working on her. She didn't look good and I had this fear that the nurse was going to come out and tell me they couldn't do anything. I watched as her grandmother cried in to her husband arms asking how could the happen. She kept asking me questions but I felt numb I hadn't spoken to anyone since it all happen. Finally a nurse came out and gave us a rundown of Sophia injuries. Sophia had sustain broken arm, wrist, shoulder, hip, leg and ribs. She had internal bleeding and her forehead had been cracked open. They were surprised that the force of the car hitting her it didn't actually kill her. They also told us that it will take time for her to heal but she should make a successful recovery. All I thought at the time was thank god that she was alive.**_

" _ **Can we see her?" I asked as in that moment I didn't give a damn about Santino threats I knew I couldn't live without her. There no way in hell I'm ever leaving her side after all this.**_

" _ **Of course. There only two people at a time" She looked at the three of us. I knew the right thing was to let her grandparents to see her first.**_

" _ **Why don't you go in first Mr & Mrs Romero" They gave me a small smiled and walked away. Suddenly I was pinned to the wall I looked up to see Santino. **_

" _ **You did this to her" he growled at me. How could he even blame this on me he gave me no choice but to break up with her. I pushed him away.**_

" _ **No dude this is YOUR FAULT" I yelled back at him suddenly he punched me in the face sending me to the floor.**_

" _ **I warned you Ian you come anywhere near Sophia again. It will be you in that hospital bed not her"**_

That was the last time I saw anyone from the Romero family. I knew that Santino met every word he wouldn't have hesitated to put in hospital or worse kill me. I had to walk away from the girl I love and it was one of the hardest things I've done in my 33 years of being on this earth. I will always live with that regret. In the end we only regret the chance we didn't take.

Reliving all this was driving me insane just one day having her back in my life and my world was turned upside down. Even now I'm at home and I'm on edge normally I'm sitting here going through emails replying back spending time with my kids. I just couldn't I needed to get the hell out of here and get drunk or something to just numb out all the memories that came flooding back to me. I got up and went to get showered and changed. I left the house in a cab as I planned to get pretty drunk tonight. Normally I would call Paul or a friend to join me. No tonight I needed to be by myself and I just hoped I didn't get hounded press or fans. I got dropped off at Magic city as I knew one of the partners and I knew he would give me a private table so I wouldn't be disturbed. As I entered I had a few girls screaming my name I smiled as I walked pass them and show to my VIP table. I didn't even pace myself starting off with something light. I went straight to hard stuff I ordered myself a bottle of Petron. I sat there drinking away looking out on the dance floor watching people having a great time with no care in the world. The music was great the vibe was even better coming here did actually help. I got up to go to the bathroom on my way I heard a familiar voice telling someone to stop. I went out on the terrace to see Sophia with some guy groping her and not listening to her telling him to stop. Instantly I went into protective mode and ripped the guy away from her punched him in the face sending him to the ground. I looked back at Sophia and she looked out of it. I could see she could barely stand and I caught her before she fell on the ground.

I held her in my arms and tried to bring her round but she wasn't waking. I had no idea who she was here with so I picked her up and took her out of the club. I caught a cab and I was debating about taking her to my place but where else could I bring her? I didn't know where she was staying and I couldn't leave her in this state. So I brought her home and place her in the bed in the guest room. I took her out of her dress that was ruined and covered in sick. I've never seen her in this state before she couldn't have gotten this drunk. Sophia wasn't one on drinking but then again in 13 years people change. I was about to leave when I heard her moaning. I sat beside her and felt her forehead and she was burning up. I went into the bathroom and got a cold compress to cool her down and a bowl in case she was sick. I brought it back in time as she threw up. She was slurring her words half it didn't make any sense. That's when I realized that Sophia had been roofied by that guy who was getting all heavy on her. In that moment all I felt was rage over come me I want to go back down that club and beat the crap out of him. I knew I couldn't leave her side knowing that might be the case.

All night I stayed awake watching over Sophia. She threw up a few more time which I looked up was a good thing as it was a way for the drugs coming out of her system. Moke came into the room and curled up next to Sophia as she slept. I knew she would be awake soon so I grabbed her some clothes that Nina had left over. I know giving my ex my current girl's cloths not a good thing but the dress she wore was covered in sick and I couldn't let her leave in that. I let them at the bottom of the bed for her. I made my way down stairs as I knew when she would wake up she would need something to eat. I began to cook making her favourite blueberry pancakes. I could hear movement from upstairs and I knew she was awake. I wasn't sure how she was going to react to being in my home let alone seeing me. I heard her come down the stairs and I could tell she was trying to creep out. I walked out into the hallway and that where I saw her in the clothes that I had left for her about to open the door.

"So you were just going to leave. With no thank you" I watched as she froze on the spot then slowly turning around.

"Ian?" She spoke with confusion as she held her head. I did my research while watching over her all night the effect of being roofied the following day were just as bad as the actual night "What am I doing here?" she looked around "Why I'm in your home?" she spoke with annoyance.

"You were roofied by that guy you were locking lips with at Magic city. I didn't know who you were with so I brought you back here. I couldn't leave you in the state you were in" She stood there frowning trying to recollect that night events. "Sophia I'll take you back to wherever you're staying but you need to eat something before you go" I could see she was about to protest "Look I know I'm the last person you want to see. All I'm asking is you eat something then I'll take you home." She stood there with her arms crossed.

"Fine" she spoke in defeat as she walked passed me into the kitchen. Even after all these years she still listen to me. Maybe there was some kind of hope that we could overcome our past. We both sat down and ate in silence I didn't want to push her. She only ate one pancake which was better than nothing.

As I promised I drove her back to where she was staying. I was kind of surprised where Michael and Julie had placed her they really did go all out. Which meant they knew that Sophia was going to be an asset to their team. I stopped outside her hotel and we both sat there once again in silence I thought she would have rushed to get out of the car but she didn't. She sat there gazing out of the window screen.

"Sophia?" I was a little concerned about her because there was so many side-effect to being roofied and I was a little concerned to just leave her like this.

"Sorry I spaced out" she was about to get out of the car and I stopped her by placing my hand on hers. "Thanks for looking after me last night" She gave me a small smile. Even after all these years she still looked as beautiful. All that went through my mind was why was I so stupid to let her go.

"Your welcome" She was about to get out of the car and I stopped her "Sophia I need….." I began to say but she interrupted me.

"Ian if you're going to drag up the past. Then don't." She spoke firmly without looking at me. I knew the past pained her maybe more than it pained me. As I was the one who walked out. I was the one who gave her heart ache. "We both moved on. Let just leave it in the past where it belongs" I heard everything she said but there was things that needed to be said and it was long overdue and now was my time to get it odd my chest.

"I need to say this. I'm sorry it may be selfish but I've been wanting to say this to you for 13 years" Sophia still didn't look at me. I gently place my hand under her chin turning her to face me. The one thing that pained me was to see the sorrow in her eyes "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I'm sorry for walking away from you." I could see her eyes filling up. One thing I hated was to see her cry. "I don't expect you to forgive me but I want you to know how much I regret my actions" I meant everything I was telling her but I knew that look on her face. The look of scepticism. "Please Sophia. Please believe that I'm sorry for how I treated you" I needed her to know that the last 13 years I had carried the guilt of what I did to her. To never go back to see how she was all because of her psycho brother and what he would of done to me. Sometimes I wished I went back and proved to her that I still loved her and if Santino wanted to hurt me it would have been worth it. Cause at least Sophia would of known that I cared for her that I still loved her.

"You know when I was in that hospital bed all those weeks the only person I wanted to comfort me was you" I knew she wasn't tell me that to make me feel any worse but it just made me feel even more riddle with guilt "Then to find out not only did I lose you. But I lost our child that I was carrying" She blurted out. "God I shouldn't of told you that" She covered her face with her hand as she was ashamed with letting that all out. She was pregnant? With my child?

"You were pregnant? Why didn't you tell me?" I had a million emotions run though me in that one moment. A lot of them starting with _'what if'._

"I didn't know myself until I woke up. They told me due to complication I lost it" Sophia spoke with sorrow in her voice. I could tell that she wanted to say more as I notice she hesitated to speak. She opened the car door while I sat there in utter shock "Look Ian the girl you used to know is dead. We going to be working in the same place. Let just keep it professional" I sat there speechless after what I had just heard I didn't ruin one life but two lives. It's hard to stay strong when you look around and every part of your world is crumbling down, and you can't do anything to stop it. It felt like this was never going to end. The world wasn't going to stop crashing down until there was nothing left of me but dust.


	3. Past The Point Of No Return

_I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff._

 _Secrets. Funny how, when you're about to be given something precious, something you've wanted for a long time, you suddenly feel nervous over taking it._ _  
_ _Everyone wants more than anything to be allowed into someone else's most secret self. Everyone wants to allow someone into their most secret self. Everyone feels so alone inside that their deepest wish is for someone to know their secret being, because then they are alone no longer. Don't we all long for this? Yet when it's offered it's frightening, because you might not live up to the desires of the one who bestows the gift. And frightening because you know that accepting such a gift means you'll want-perhaps be expected- to offer a similar gift in return. Which means giving your "self" away. And what's more frightening than that?_

 **Sophia P.O.V**

As I walked away from the car I literally wanted to hit myself. How could I drop something like that on him? Why the hell can't I control my mouth when I'm around Ian? He was never meant to know about what happened. How I lost our baby that I wasn't even aware of. Why do I keep digging myself a grave when it came to him? Maybe it's cause I got nostalgic with him taking care of me. How stupid was I to of got roofied? It's like I've come to this city and I'm not behaving like myself. I'm level headed I don't let things get to me and I certainly wouldn't of allowed someone to roofie me. I need to fix up and be that woman that I've been for last 13 years. I can't allow any of this to affect me further moving to Atlanta is about a new beginning. Not to let my past take control of my future. For me to somehow deal with all this without losing focus.

I made my way up to my suite as I walked in I notice there was bottles of booze everywhere. It looks like Loredana brought the party back here. I shook my head as I began to make my way to my room as I did notice about half a dozen people passed out on the suite floor. She really did go all out and I think she and I will be having words later. I walked into my room and luckily there wasn't anyone in here because if there was I would have flipped. I locked the door behind me so no random would come in. Really what I wanted to do was walk into Loredana room and give her a piece of my mind. From the looks of all this she didn't even care of the fact that she didn't seem me in the club. The more I thought about it the angrier I got so I decided a hot shower might help me cool down a little. Which it did but all that kept running through my mind was how out of all people that Ian to in a sense save me from possibly a horrible fate. He didn't need to do that maybe he did that because he felt that he owed me after the way he just upped and left. Or it could be the fact of how he broke my heart because he wanted to be the player and not settle down. Well he played the role of the bachelor pretty well and he didn't settle down with the string of women has been with. I think this relationship with Nina maybe the one. Am I jealous? Yeah… No….. I don't know. I guess the guy I thought I knew was gone but then this one act he did.

No I can't keep doing this to myself I refuse to let him get into my head I've done enough screwing up in the short time of me being here. If all goes well I'm going to be working with an amazing team and progressing my career. I will not allow Ian and my past or any feeling I may have ruin all that. So I calm myself down I left the apartment full of deadbeats and thought to take a little tour of the city that I may be calling home soon. I was kind of impressed in what Atlanta had to offer there was loads of thing that you could do places to go. I didn't look like I would be getting bored here anytime soon. So I found a coffee bar and stayed there for a while. As when I returned back to the hotel suite I expect all unknown people to be gone. I was trying to think of way to talk to Loredana about last night without it turning into a full blown argument. I got my cell out and began to flick though it I went to my twitter app and I notice I had couple of new notifications. When I check i had new followers Julie Plec, Michael Narducci then the name _Ian Somerhalder._ I felt my jaw drop as I kept looking at the notification. Why would he follow me? Why would he even do that? Did he take pleasure in torturing me? No I'm not going to let him get to me.

So right now I didn't know who I was pissed off with more Loredana or Ian for his stupid action. It was gone 2 in the afternoon before I headed back to the hotel. When I arrived the place was still a mess but minus the bodies. I could hear groans from the bathroom down the hall. As I went to go and see who it was I walked in on a very hung over Loredana.

"Hope it was all worth it" I spoke to her with disappointment in my voice while her head was still down the toilet.

"Please…. Keep the tone to a minimum" She groaned as she covered her face with her hands. She did look bad but right now I didn't care all she had was a hangover. While me I'm like a bomb ready to explode with Loredana abandoning me then Ian follow on twitter. I'm ready to blow at any moments.

"Did you even notice I was missing last night?" I asked her as she got up and held the counter to keep herself steady on her feet.

"You were with Dean I just thought you were getting your groove on" Is that what she thought? That I'm going to sleep with some random guy that was paying me some attention.

"Groove on? You being serious Loredana! You're so freaking unbelievable" I couldn't look at her no longer and I walked out of the bathroom before I did something I would regret.

"Sophia…." Loredana called out and I ignored her as I went into my room "Come on I thought after what happen…. God the room spinning" I sat on the bed and looked at her standing in the doorway looking pale as she held to the door frame. A part of me want to put her in bed and look after her but I refuse to do that because she didn't give me a second thought while she partied it up.

"That would be all the liquor you consumed" I spoke to her bitterly. She stood there with a sadden expression. The expression she would give when she was in the wrong.

"Sophia come on…" She approached the bed and sat next to me and rest her head on my shoulder. I think she needed to hear a few home truths right now.

"Do you know that guy _Dean_ that you trusted me with. He roofied me." My stomach turned at the thought of what may of have happened. Loredana moved her head from my shoulder and looked at me horrified "That not the worst of it either. You wanna know who came to save my ass from god knows what!?" I never in a million years would have thought of him being there or the one stopping something terrible happening "Ian!" Loredana eyes widen as I mention his name.

"Ian? What? How was he even there…." She raised her voice slightly then held on to her head "God I'm not drinking ever…." She wined as she laid back on the bed.

"It's a club Loredana. Open to all" I spoke harshly as she wasn't getting any of this. It wasn't about Ian. It was the fact it should have been her who had my back not the guy who broke my heart playing hero.

"I'm so sorry Sophia." Looked at her and her face was filled with guilt as it all kind of hit her at once. "Look I just thought….." She shook her head and she sat up and placed her hand on top of mine "You know what it doesn't matter what I thought because I was wrong. I should have looked out for you not drinking myself into an oblivion. I forced you to come out when you didn't and if the unspeakable did happen I would never forgive myself. You have every right to hate me" I could never hate her. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything

"I'm just mad I don't hate you." I placed my arm around her "Hate is a strong word. Let just say this is a lesson learnt. Sober or drunk we have each other's backs" I gave her a smile and she embraced me in a tight hug.

"I love you Sophia" She spoke into my arm awhile I soothed her back. I hoped she wasn't going to puke in my hair.

"Love you too crazy" I could hear her giggling as she pulled away. I called her crazy because at times she would do the most stupid thing. Classic example last night and bringing a whole load of stranger to our suite.

"So Ian was your knight in shining armour" I looked at her arching my brow as I didn't know what she was trying to imply "What come on your childhood sweetheart save you from some douche if that not a sign that there still something there. Then what is?" I knew what Loredana was getting at and I wasn't going to let her continue.

"It's not up for discussion." I told her firmly. If you hold back on the emotions-if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely. I wasn't ready to open up or share any of that about Ian I had to put it all under lock and key like I have done. I can't let these emotions that are stirring up again control me.

So after that day it wasn't spoken about again. Loredana and I went back to Massachusetts to wrap up final part for the American Horror Story show. I was sent over the itinerary of the pilot for this new show The Originals. Well that one pilot episode we a true hit as all the dedicated fans of the show The Vampire Diaries. So it was confirmed that CW was going to start up this new chapter in the series of books written by L.J Smith. The cast were totally amazing and so welcoming. I was a little concerned at first as I find it difficult to make friends at times. Having Loredana by my side that wasn't an issue. We had a few random nights out with the girls and I have to admit Phoebe and Claire were truly as blast so welcoming. It appeared behind the scene Loredana had become a little close to one of the cast members. Joseph Morgan one of the lead charters of the show. Correction the lead charter as pretty much it's based on him. The only issue I had with this is the fact that Joseph was actually dating someone called Persia White. Yeah no matter how many times I had this conversation with Loredana all I got "We are just friends". While I saw otherwise the giggles between them and the lungful looks I just didn't like it. I had my own issue to deal with to be going into all that with Loredana.

From that one day when Ian followed me on Twitter he had been trying to get me to "talk". He had been asking to meet to talk for weeks but each and every time I refused. As I thought there nothing to discuss I didn't want to continue dragging up the past. We didn't need to be friends because we had gotten through the last 13 years of not being that. We never spoke to each other and cause now I'm working on the originals he final wants to make some kind of amends? I don't know if it was the guilt of be blurting out about losing the baby or was it the fact that he had left me in the hospital alone not knowing what going on. We both worked on two different sets we never crossed each other's paths and I had no reason to go anywhere near TVD set. So about a week ago I set Ian straight I tried to be nice to him because of this act of chivalry. This communication between us wasn't helping me in the slightest I was snapping for no reason. I was reminiscing over old times basically I was doing all the things I did not want to do. So I asked Ian polity to leave me alone that this meaning us being civil to one another isn't working. That there too much bad blood between us to move on from the past. From the moment I sent that I hadn't heard from him. I should feel relief. Right? Well I did but there was that little niggling feeling in the back of my mind but I couldn't let it control me. So I did what Sophia Romero always does and shuts it all off.

It was another day down the studio we were shooting the third episode which was kind of fun for me as I had to create like a masquerade ball custom. I was just finishing up Claire dress which I was kind of proud of because I wanted her to come across as dark angel. From my understanding of her charter Rebekah she was innocent and all the things that had happen to her had led her to be who was. That it wasn't in her control she was still that good person and wanted to be that person but circumstances made her who she is today. I could kind of relate to all that.

"Hey Sophia" I looked up to see Nina standing nervously in front me which took me by surprise. What was she doing here?

"Oh Nina. Hi" I turned and continued pinning the dress to avoid eye contact. I hadn't seen her since my little outburst. I was kind of hoping I didn't have to bump into her again. Then again she's come all this way to talk to me. First thing that hit my mind was the whole Ian getting in contract with me on Twitter. Right now I didn't need a girly bitching session.

"Look I know thing have been a little awkward between us." I heard her approaching me. God I didn't need this right now. I looked up at her and she gave me a small smile "I wanna clear the air" I began to frown as I didn't know what needed to be cleared.

"I don't think there much too clear Nina." I tried to not come across rude but what was there to clear up? Nina and I didn't work together we didn't actually need to interact so I didn't understand her gesture.

"Ian told me about what happened. I just thought we could have lunch and maybe talk?" Nina seemed like a really nice person she didn't look like she came here to cause trouble. What concerned me is what Ian may have told her.

"Yeah sure" Slipped out of my mouth I wanted to take it back but I couldn't. I feel an obligation to set the record straight. Not because I owed to set it straight for Nina but maybe for myself because if Nina thinks that old flame Ian and I had was going to be spark back up. Then I need to make it clear that would never happen.

 **Ian P.O.V**

After dropping off Sophia and hearing the fact that one night I didn't just lose her but also our child. I honestly didn't know how to feel or to think. I went home feeling kind of numb and I knew that I had to do something to keep my mind off it all. So I went through my emails to do with my foundation to take my mind off what I had learnt. It worked for a little while until I went on to twitter and there she was as a recommendation _Sophia Romero._ I must have looked at her picture for hours the way she was smiling looking all sweet and innocent just as Sophia I always knew. One moment I was looking at her picture the next I clicked follow as soon as I did I regretted it. I wanted to unfollow but then I knew it would show up in her notifications. None of it was helping right now because all I was doing it making feel confused about my emotions. I had this perfect lady in my life right now a woman who I saw a future with. I couldn't let my past ruin that no matter how much I wanted an explanation or that I wanted to let her know how sorry I was. I needed to just let it go. So what was it all so hard for me to do that? With that question I knew I had to get out here. I took a chance and went over to Nina place because after telling her a small part my history she asked me to leave. So going to her place I didn't know what to expect.

When I got to Nina's it actually played out differently to how I thought it would. She was understanding and even asked me to stay with her which was something I didn't expect. I wanted to tell her what I had learn but I knew that would be a little too much for her to handle. So I kept it all to myself. Things were getting back on track with her and I didn't want anything else ruining it. From that one night of talking and just having a normal evening as a couple it put everything into prospective to me. That even with the messy past I have with Sophia somehow we had to overcome it and attempt to put the past behind us and may be friends. I knew which woman I wanted to be with and that was Nina but I couldn't carry this heavy weight no longer. So I messaged Sophia to try and resolve this I didn't expect a reply straight away. I didn't it must have been a couple of days before she did when she did I kept hearing the same thing that we should just leave the past. I thought maybe she was right and I tried to regain a connection with her just as friends. She was cold as ice with me which eventually lead to her basically leave her alone.

I don't know what it was about Sophia Romero that I couldn't leave well alone but I couldn't upset her further so I had to respect her wishes. The thing is in doing so I became a little snappy and Nina began to notice. Even how hard I tried to attempt to hide the fact that it bothered me that Sophia told me where to go. I was failing epically at it. Today was no different as shooting on the set I kept messing up my lines more than I usually do. I asked for a bit of time out and Julie was a little concerned about me asked what was going on with me. I throbbed it all off with some excuse which I knew she didn't buy but she left me to go back to my dressing room. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes to regain my composure. I couldn't let all this affect my work life I needed to get a grip cause I'm slowly losing it. I heard a knock on my door.

"Five more minutes" I called out. As I knew it was one of the golfers wanting me back on set.

"Of course Mr Smolderholder" I heard a fake female voice and I knew exactly who it was. I opened my eyes to see Paul leaning against the door frame I couldn't help but laugh lightly as he always knew how to make me smile. "So what's with this funk you going through? The last time you were like this was when you and Nina were going through a rough patch" I didn't want Paul thinking that Nina and I had issue because truth was we were cool. Nina was being the lovable Nina as she always was it was me who had the issue.

"No we good" I assured him I didn't want Paul to think that we had issue. The thing about Paul he warned me about dating a co-star that if things get ugly it will be hard. Then when he found out about Nina and I well let just say he spent a whole night talking about what if goes bad. I didn't need a Paul Wesley lecture right now.

"So what is it?" He took a seat next to me "Family? Work? Foundation? I could go on for a while here" It was none of those but I didn't want to talk to Paul about my Sophia problem as when I spoke about to Nina it didn't go too well. I honestly don't know how he would react to my actions of that night. The fact that she's rolled into my life and shook it to the point that I don't even know what I'm doing.

"You know what!" I needed to get the focus off as Paul was pretty good at getting the truth out of me "You know what I need is a well deserve break from all this" I got up from the couch and went to the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Break from what? You've not even said what brothering you?" Paul was digging and I knew if I let him continue it would blurt it all out. I turned to him and he sat there with a sceptical look on his face meaning he was trying to read mine.

"I just need a break from Atlanta" Which was true I need a break from here. Then it kind of hit me maybe what I needed was like a crazy guy weekend. Go out get drunk have some fun and get Sophia Romero off my mind and let her control my emotions "Hey. You up for a guy weekend in New York? You know hit a few bars and clubs" I think NYC and Paul would be a great remedied to sort out my head with this situation I'm in right now.

"Well Torrey in LA and I have nothing else planned. Are you going to tell me the real reason for leaving town?" Once again Paul was fishing for the real reason and he wasn't going to give up.

"I told you I need a break…." I took a sip of my drink to hide my guilt of the truth behind it all.

"Ummmm sure. Well I'll leave you to arrange everything. Let me know the details" He wasn't totally convince but he made his way out of the room "Oh Ian" I looked up "Get your ass on set you know lunch is in an hour. If Kat and Candice get there first all the good stuff will be gone" I shook head as all Paul thought about half the time was food "Come on I'm serious. You have 60 seconds to get out there or I'll haul your ass out"

"You and your food Paul" You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analysing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on. That what I'm going to start doing I needed to appreciate what I had before me. I can't hold on what I could have had because it will drive me insane. So this trip to NYC is my way of letting go of my past with Sophia like a final goodbye and laying it all to rest.

 **Sophia P.O.V**

Why did I agree to this lunch with Nina? Oh yeah cause I'm incredibly stupid that's why. Nina suggested for us to go to Rathbun's. I drove passed it a few times and it seemed like a nice place and I was told the food was pretty amazing. My only concern was what she wanted to talk about? What had Ian told her? Did he tell her about the baby? Cause if he had I don't know if I wanted to be having that conversation with Nina. I thought that we were going to go in separate cars but Nina insisted that she would drive. The car journey was awkward and I'm assuming the talk she wanted to have was going to be just as bad. We arrived and parked up the car as we approached the restaurant adoring fans were asking for her autograph and of course Nina took a picture with them. This was a side to Nina I hadn't seen part of me understood why Ian was with her. The way she was talking to these girls and telling them to stay in school how education was important. The way she answers there questions wasn't like some snotty celebrity she was really down to earth with it all. Then the dreaded question of when are you and Ian are going to get married? Nina and I share a look for a moment and she told the girls polity that she was having lunch with a friend.

We both walked into the restaurant and were shown to our table we ordered our food but the conversation was still a little stale. I could see that Nina wanted to talk about something particular but didn't know how to bring it up. So many possible things went through my mind of what Ian may have told her. I knew I had to breakup this tension that was clearly in the air.

"Food great" I spoke as I cut into continued to eat my four bean salad. It wasn't the best I had but I needed to say something.

"Yeah I love coming here. There crispy fires are to die for…and this blue cheese fondue…Delicious" Nina seemed to be in kinda high spirits or maybe she was always like this? "You want to try?" She moved her plate towards me. I don't know her that well but I think she avoiding the talk that she asked for.

"No it's okay thanks. So Nina you said that you wanted to talk. So what did you want to talk about?" I watched as she placed her fork down and looked at me for a moment. I didn't want to do the whole small talk she clearly had something on her mind so she needed to speak it.

"You know I really wanted to dislike you" I sat back in my seat as that was something I didn't know how to react to. I didn't know Nina she didn't know me the only thing we did have in common was Ian. "No sorry I didn't mean it like that. I just mean Your Ian ex-girlfriend and there always a reason why someone is someone ex" This what this was all about me being Ian ex? Maybe I need to set a few things straight with Nina as she really don't have anything to fear.

"Nina I really don't want to dwell past. I didn't come here to cause complications…." I began to say then she interrupted me.

"Well your little outburst proved otherwise" I regret doing that but when I saw Ian after 13 years it was like all that anger came to the surface. Believe me if I could turn back the clock I would of done it all so differently. "Look Sophia like I told you I just wanted to talk. I know about what happened that night. The night when you said Ian left you for dead" I didn't want to discuss that night least of all with a girl I hardly knew. I didn't even speak to my best friend about and even my family I'm not going to open up to Nina. If that what she actually expect then she's in for a disappointment.

"Nina I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. I don't and I didn't want to cause complications in your relationship" This is one of those moment when you wish you could turn back time. I looked up to see Nina looking at me sceptically while arching her brow.

"You didn't want to cause complication but you drop the whole ' _You left me for dead'"_ She was right with my outburst that I did it proved otherwise but I need her to know that I wasn't here to cause trouble.

"Well that was my mistake and I should have never brought it all up" I need to make it clear to Nina that my intension coming here were all professional it wasn't about Ian. "Look I see how happy your both are. I came here because I'm good at my job I didn't come here to ignite an old flame" Which was my actual reason I didn't even want to see Ian I couldn't because I knew what would happen and it did. Look where I'm at now. Here with his girlfriend trying to justify my reckless actions.

"You know I believe that. I believe you are amazing at what you do. I believe that you had no intentions of reignite that flame. You wanna know what else I believe?" Well at least she knew my intentions weren't to ruin their relationship "That you're still in love with Ian" I felt my jaw drop as she said those words. Is this what this _talk_ was about that Nina thought I was still in love with Ian? I didn't know what to think right now but right now I was just stunned by her comment.

"Excuse me?" Were the only words that could come out of my mouth in that moment. As I honestly didn't know what else to really say after that accusation.

"Sophia. You two didn't break up because one of you fell out of love with one another" I wasn't going to listen to anymore of this I grabbed my purse and was about to leave. Nina caught my arm "It's because your brother Santino force Ian to leave you" I couldn't help but laugh as soon as Nina brought up Santino because "Why is that funny to you?" Nina spoke with confusion. I got out of her grip and got up I think Nina needed a wakeup call.

"You want to know why this is funny. It's because if that this story that Ian has spun you is true. What does that say about the man your with" Nina sat there a little taken back by my response. I got up from my seat and took out some money and placed it on the table. "This been nice and all but I don't think we will be doing it again." Nina looked at me regretfully but I had to walk away from her I couldn't keep going over and over the same thing. It's all in the past and I do not want to hold on to it anymore or for it to have control over me.

"Sophia….." Nina called out. I stopped in my tracks and turned to her.

"There nothing more to say Nina. I'm done with all this" With that I walked out of the restaurant. Walking away from bad situations and negative people sets a healthier tone for the rest of your life. It also gives those who do not know any better the opportunity to self-correct. There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Think good thoughts for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life. Getting back up is living.

 **Ian P.O.V**

So I arranged everything for Paul and I go head to New York I had it all planned out it was going to be one of those weekend we will never forget. My head wasn't in the game on set or with my foundation and I needed to blow off some steam to be back to the guy I was before all this happened. It's not all Sophia fault. It's just at times you think you can run away from your past but the thing is. No matter how much you run it will always come and haunt you when you least expect it. So this weekend was about me and my buddy hanging out and getting crazy. When I told Nina about this guy weekend she was okay with it. She wasn't actually being herself like she was quite a little withdrawn I asked if it was to do with going away. She insisted it had nothing to do with that. As she had a lot on her mind at the moment with the show and she was going to be auditioning for some cop movie she was put forward for. So I didn't push her too much as when Nina had these kind of audition she did close up to stay focus at time. So I didn't worry too much about it.

The night before I was due to leave to New York I took her to a nice restaurant and treated her how she deserved to be treated. Since this whole Sophia thing blew up Nina has supported me in so many ways. So I wanted to do the same for her. After the restaurant we took a nice moonlit walk I notice that she was on edge and I wanted to assure her a few thing. I think Nina thought with Sophia returning back in my life that it would change things between us. So I assured her that she is the only woman I want to be with that she is the only woman that I felt like myself with. Since what happened all those years ago that Nina made me feel like a better man that the person who I am now. Is down to her she pushed me with my acting and to pursue with my foundation. So I owed a lot to her for me being who I am. Nina seemed more relaxed after and when we got back to my place I showed her how much I was going to miss her over the long weekend break.

In the morning it was hard for me to tare myself away from her and with Paul constant honking outside it wasn't making it easy to say bye. Nina laughed it off and told me I should go before Paul kicks down the door or something. I gave her one final kiss and grabbed my case and headed out of the house. Paul sat in the car not looking amused whatsoever he really wasn't a morning person at times. I placed my case in the trunk and got into the car.

"Morning grumpy" I teased him as he looked like hell actually Paul looked like he hadn't slept. "Dude maybe I should drive" Paul arched his brow not looking amused "Hey what's up?" I could see from his expression he wasn't happy about something.

"It's Torrey…" He backed up the car on to the street "Apparently she's needed in LA for another two weeks" He spoke with frustration in his voice. The thing about Paul he didn't like to be apart from Torrey over long period of time.

"You know it's to do with her work" Sometimes he would get this notion in his head that he felt that she needed time away from him. Yeah Paul Wesley being paranoid I know crazy.

"Yeah your right. I just miss her at time" I know he found it difficult with Paul, Nina and I being so close I think at times he felt like gooseberry. I tried to not let him feel like that. "Anyway it's not about the ladies in our lives these next few days. It's about me and you buddy have great time" He was right this break was about him and I letting lose and having fun and when we do stuff like this we never fail to have a good time.

We arrived at the airport and checked in like always we were sighted by a few fans and took picture with them along with few photographers from the media. We hit the bar in the VIP lounge and had a few pre-flights drinks. This wasn't something I would normally do but today and this weekend we were gonna party like its 1999. That was the attitude that we both held and boy did we keep up with it. As soon as we checked into our hotel Paul was ordering room service it wasn't food it was a combination of drinks they had available. It was gone 7pm and we decided to go to Marquee from what Paul told me it was one of the hot spot in NYC. All I wanted was one night to not think about Sophia or how I messed everything up. I came here to finally let go and that's what I'm gonna do I'm not going back to Atlanta with these mixed up feeling. I have a great woman and I don't need to mess that all up over a girl I was once in love with.

We arrived at the club and Paul wasn't lying this place was amazing. We brought quite a crowed along with us which the owner gave us a VIP section to keep the screaming girls away. Who would have thought working on a TV show playing vampires would give you this kind of frame. I put it all down to that whole Twilight saga stuff that what got everyone wanting a vampire hottie or some cases a werewolf. So this night was going great I was having fun dancing getting drunk with my buddy. Really it was going all well until I saw this one girl who looked a splitting image of Sophia for a few moments I was convince it was her. I even approached her and that when I knew it wasn't instead it was a crazy fan who wouldn't let go of me. So I stuck around for picture and talked to her friends you know to be polite and all. Every moment I was standing that I was praying to get away. Which I did after about an hour. I walked over to our VIP section and sat down. I felt like I was tripping or something because I swore that she looked like Sophia and she looked nothing like her. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Come on you can't be missing Nina that much" Paul snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see him lounging on the couch with a bottle of Cristal in his hand "We here to party to forget about the ladies in our life" He took a swig from the bottle. He really wanted to party tonight from the looks of it.

"No it's no Nina" I told him firmly I didn't want him to think that I was having issue with Nina when I wasn't. I was having issue with myself.

"Ian I've known you for years and there something up… So talk" He sat up and leaned forward and had his serious face on or attempting to have one. God knows how much he had been drinking while I was gone.

"You know that new head of the wardrobe department…" I began to say and a huge grin appeared on his face as he cut me off.

"Sophia….. Romero" He spoke her name with an accent which kind of threw me. "I'm telling you if I wasn't a married man I would definitely….." I didn't want to hear what Paul would like to do with her so before he could tell me I cut him off.

"She's my ex" I watched as Paul jaw dropped as I told him that. He sat back on the couch and looked taken back.

"Ohhhhh" Was the only words he said before take a swig from the bottle.

"Yeah exactly. The way things ended with us weren't great. She's back and….." I didn't know how I was going to say this. Paul was my friend but he was also Nina too and I didn't want to put him in a situation where he going to feel awkward.

"You still have feeling for her…" He spoke flatly I didn't expect him to say that. Was it that obvious? "Smoldy I know that look. You're still in love with her" No I couldn't be in love with Sophia I was with Nina. I loved Nina. Paul taking this all out of context because I brought up that she was my ex and his assuming that there still feelings.

"Nooo… I love Nina" I insisted as I need him to know that but Paul didn't look overly convinced.

"Okay just give me the run down why you broke up?" I looked at him and I honestly didn't know what to say. I broke up with her cause her brother threaten to tell her lies? Or the fact she got run over and I left her literally for dead. Then to find out that not only that night I lost her but I lost also our child. "I don't know if the music but I can't hear no words coming out of your mouth" Paul spoke with sarcasm. I couldn't tell him the reason why it ended so badly. I know Nina knew but even as much as she tries to act the same with me it isn't the same.

"I'm not in love with her. I love Nina. I wanted to spend my life with Nina." I needed Paul to get that through to his head. Paul maybe drunk right now but his got a memory like an elephant and if he thinks for a moment that I still hold feeling for Sophia he won't stop. Just like a dog with a bone.

"Okay, Okay let just say all that's true" He places down the bottle of Cristal on the table. "You tell me why in the middle of one of New York hot spots with all this booze your talking about Sophia Romero not Nina" I was a little speechless after he pointed that out I didn't know what to say. The truth is Sophia was on my mind and Nina really wasn't "Buddy truth of the matter is you're in denial" He get up from the couch "This is my jam" With that Paul walked away leaving me behind to think about what he had just brought to light.

After that I didn't drink no more as whatever buzz I had before faded away after that conversation with Paul. Well at least he had a good night. Paul literally partied the night away and I had to carry his ass to our room. I brought him into his room where I dropped him on the bed. I went into the living room and sat there all night reflecting on what the hell going on in my mind. Right now I was more confused than I was when I first arrived here. The sun was rising and the view of NYC was as breath taking as ever. I loved coming here as this was home for me after everything what happened. This city can make you forget your worries but this time around for me it wasn't working. I went into the kitchen to make some coffee as I heard Pauls groans which meant he was going to make an appearance soon. Just as I thought that he walked into the kitchen and it wasn't a pretty sight I wonder how many girls would fan over him looking like this?

"Ohhhh man remind me again why was I ordering bottles Cristal again?" He spoke rubbing his head approaching the counter. I poured him some coffee into a mug and handed it to him.

"It was something to do with you saying this is how _'rappers roll'_ " Which actually what he quoted I think that was after the 4th shot of Patron.

"My head….." He groan as he rested his head on the counter. He wasn't going to get any sympathy from me I warned to calm down a little but would he listen…. Nope!

"Well that will happen after I think 3 bottle of Cristal" I went over to the fridge and got myself some OJ as I didn't need to caffeine as much as Paul.

"You have to admit it was good night though" He spoke proudly. As messed up as he looked he was still pleased with his actions from last night. I guess he doesn't do it that often.

"Yeah it was" I took a swig from the OJ carton and I notice that Paul was giving me a sceptical look. "What I just said it was a good night" He sat there shaking his head.

"Your so transparent it's beyond belief. You know if you go back to Atlanta like this your _girlfriend_ Nina gonna ask questions" Me wishing for Paul to forget that conversation wasn't going to happen. What did I say about him having a memory like an elephant? Even drunk as he was he recalled the conversation.

"Paul don't start all this again" I put the OJ back in the fridge and looked at him I need to make this clear to him once and for all "My feeling for Sophia aren't what you think. It's just….." I was trying to search for the right word but nothing was coming to mind.

"All came flooding back to surface after seeing her after all these years. Why can't you admit that?" I didn't get him at time he wants me to openly tell him that I may have feeling for Sophia still. While he meant to be Nina friend?

"You know you're meant to be Nina friend. Convincing me I'm still in love with my first love not helping your friend" I kept my tone calm as I didn't want to make a big deal about this. I just didn't get why Paul wouldn't drop this. It's not like he knew Sophia. Yeah he thought she was… No I'm not going there.

"Actually I'm looking out for both of my friend here. I don't want Nina to be hurt because her boyfriend in love with another woman" I felt my jaw drop as I heard him say I was in love with another woman meaning Sophia "And I don't want you being with the wrong girl and being unhappy" Did he think I was unhappy with Nina?

"I never said I'm unhappy" I told him firmly. He got off the stood and grabbed his coffee.

"Look I'm hung over but not stupid. Ian I think you need to do some serious thinking" I try so hard to hide everything I'm feeling from those who probably need to know my true feelings the most. The thing is people try to bottle up their emotions, as if it's somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life. You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control. I think it is time for me to start accepting what I truly feel.

 **Sophia P.O.V**

After my encounter with Nina I was kind of furious I didn't like the way she cornered me. She wanted me to admit to thing that I didn't want to admit to well not to her. I don't talk to many people about Ian. Actually I hardly talk to anyone about how I feel about him or about my past because it all hurts too damn much. I can't keep opening that door and allowing myself to get hurt over and over again. I spent 13 years of my life keeping that door shut and when it creaked open and a tiny fractions would seep out. It hurt because Ian was the only man I have ever given my all too not just my heart my soul too. Everything I was a total open book I always smiled I was always happy. I'm none of those things I'm not the person no more. I'm tired of people who have no idea about my past and even Ian past interfering. So If Miss Dobrev attempts a stunt like this again she going to see a side to Sophia Romero that she will not like.

Before I went back home I went for a long drive as I knew once Loredana would see me she would know instantly that something was up. I needed to cool down before seeing her and hopefully be an excellent actress. The only thing that could relax me right now was a double shot skinny latte it always calmed my nerves. I drove to the nearest Starbuck and got out of the car and went in to order while waiting in the line I tried to think of other thing that could calm me down. I started to think about work and about a few upcoming scenes that I need to make costume for. It actually helped a little surprisingly enough. I ordered my drink and had it handed to me a few moments later. I made my way out looking in my bag for my car keys. When suddenly I bump into someone and nearly spilled my drink over them.

"Oh God. I'm so sorry" I looked up to see a handsome man wiping away some of the coffee that went on his sweater.

"It's okay" He smiled then looked at me frowning slightly "Sophia? Sophia Romero?" I looked at him for a long moment and his face was familiar then it hit me.

"Preston?" A huge smile appeared on his face as I said his name. I hadn't seen Preston in years. His family had a home in the Hampton not far from my grandparents place. We actually used to hang out as kids until I stopped going over there. "Oh my god it's so great to see you. How long has it been?" I knew exactly how long it had been but I wanted to play dumb. I couldn't believe how handsome he had become. Preston was always handsome but with age it really did do him justices

"13 years too long. You're still looking as beautiful as ever" Preston always had a way with words. I Recalled how he was with the girls they flocked to him. It wasn't only down to his good look but they went after him as his family was the third wealthiest family in New York State. So you could see why they were that even more attracted to him.

"Like I remember always the charmer" I teased him. He always was quick on the mark to say some flirtatious comment or when you were feeling low he would say something that would pick you right up. I guess that's why we were good friends back then because no matter how much he used his charm I would always catch him out.

"It come being a DeFer it's in the DNA" That was true all the man in that family knew how to woo a woman without them realising what they are doing. "So what bring your to Atlanta? Last I heard you were in Massachusetts." Had he been keeping tabs on me? Knowing my grandmother I'm sure she updated his mom about me. Preston mom loved me I think she hoped that one day Preston and I would actually get together. Personally I could never see that happening.

"Yeah well I got a job offer and here I am" I took a sip of my coffee as for some reason the way Preston was looking at me made me feel a little nervous. "What about you? You're a little far away from Wall Street" I had hear he followed in his family footsteps becoming a partner in his father broker firm. That family made the most stupid amount of money in a day I don't know what they did with it. Well I'm sure they all found way to spend it. Me personally I wouldn't have a clue.

"I'm here for business. I met up with a few clients" Business trip that was typical all work no play just like this father.

"You're defiantly following in your father footsteps. Well it's been great to see you again. Maybe next time I'm in New York we could grab lunch or dinner" Not that I would get in touch with him. It was just one of those things that you say to someone you haven't seen in a while. I was about to walk off when Preston caught my arm.

"We don't have to wait until whenever you decide to come to New York. Why don't we go out for dinner tomorrow night? Our official first date" I felt my jaw hang slightly as Preston mentioned the word _date._

"Date?" I questioned him.

"Sophia come on you know I had a thing for you since we were kids. You were so wrapped up in…. What's' his name again?" I was waiting for him to get brought up.

"Ian" I tried to say his name pleasantly but it was proven a little difficult as my anger from early was all to do with him.

"Yeah that's him. Anyway I'm not taking no for an answer." Preston insisted. He pulled out a pen and piece of paper from his jean pocket. He wrote something down then handed it to me "Here my number text me your address and I'll pick you up say around 8" Every part of me want to turn to him and say no. Or sorry I'm dating someone I can't. I wasn't thinking of every excuse that I could possible say.

"I'll do that" Slipped from my mouth and I thought I would regret it instantly but I didn't. I smiled at him and walked away getting into my car. Why shouldn't I go on a date with Preston it's a start for me to move on to start a new chapter in my life. What actually stopping me from doing that. I got my phone out and message Preston my address. I may of looked too keen but you know what I didn't care. With me doing this it will prove to me that I can move on from Ian Somerhalder.

 **Ian P.O.V**

The flight back to Atlanta was a quite one for two reason one Paul still had his hang over and two I was reflecting on what he told me. When we arrived at the airport Paul offered to drive me home but I told him he was in not fit state to drive. So I drove instead. I brought him to his house and told him I would drop his car off later with Nina. He seem okay with that but I spoke too soon as he told me I need to fess up to Nina about what I'm feeling for Sophia. With that he went into his house. Was Paul crazy how could I speak to Nina about my feeling for Sophia she will flip out or cry or something? She wouldn't take it well and if she did then that would be saying something about our relationship. If Paul wanted me to fess up about possible feeling I may have for Sophia I think I need to face those feeling and the only way I could do that. Was to talk to Sophia myself. If I can look at her in the eye knowing what I know now. I will know if I'm still in love with her or not. Was that the right thing to do after her spilling about being pregnant then losing the baby? Could I go through another day feeling like this? Feeling that I don't have no control on how I feel? No I can't I need to talk to her I need to say my piece to her while I have the courage to do so.

I began to drive towards Sophia place. You're wondering how i know where she lives? Well I'm not stalking her let me put that straight. Joseph most of you may know him as Klaus dropped off Loredana the girl who lives with Sophia. He told me it was at Ridge View and you couldn't miss their home as Loredana had put a load of twinkling light on the front lawn in the tress. I was actually surprised Sophia let her do that but then again she's not the Sophia I knew all those years ago. I drove down the street as Jo mention twinkling lights were on show. I parked up and got out of the car I felt a little nervous but I knew I had to do this. It was one of those now or never moments. So I range the door bell and waited patiently. The door opened and it wasn't Sophia it was Loredana with a very shocked expression on her face.

"Hi is Sophia in?" I spoke while trying not to sound nervous I didn't want Loredana knowing what was going on. I just wanted to see Sophia and have it out with her.

"Errm…. Yeahhh I don't think it's a good idea you being here" From her reaction she knew about our history. Of course she would know Sophia had to speak to someone after what happen at the studio when we first met. Of course she going to confined in her close friend.

"It's Loredana. Right?" She stood there with her arms folded not looking impress. I needed her to know I wasn't here to cause any trouble "I've not come here to cause trouble I just need to speak to Sophia" I assured her. I didn't want to upset Loredana or Sophia but I can't hold these feeling back. The feeling that I've been kidding myself that I didn't have anymore.

"Loredana who….." I heard Sophia voice I looked up and I felt like my heart stopped beating for a moment. She stood there looking more beautiful than I could ever imagine. Sophia was something of true beauty and I let her slip through my finger for what fear? "Ian?" She spoke my name in confusion as she came closer to the door and I felt my heart accelerate due to her present

"Hey Sophia….." I rubbed the back of my head nervously but my voice gave away that this was something I wasn't prepared for. Even that I wasn't I knew it was the right thing to do. I was going to tell Sophia exactly how I feel about her. With the way she looked right now I wanted her more than ever.

"I think this is my cue to leave" Loredana spoke awkwardly and left the both of us standing in the doorway. Sophia was looking at me a little baffled with my sudden appearance. I wanted to talk but no words would come out as I was mesmerised by her beauty.

"Ian what are you doing here?" She spoke with confusion I think the last thing she thought on a Sunday evening was for me to turn up on her doorstep.

"Wow you look….Beautiful" I couldn't help but say it. I felt compelled to tell her that she look utterly beautiful. I notice though with my compliment Sophia felt a little awkward "Sorry I shouldn't of said that" God what am I doing I'm messing everything up and I haven't even said what I want to say yet.

"Ian….." Sophia began to say but I stopped her.

"Sophia I came here to say something. So please let me say it because I need you to know….." I was about to tell her how I felt when I was interrupted by some guy holding a bunch of flowers in one hand.

"Miss Romero. Stunning as always" He spoke flirtatiously to her which made my blood boil "These are for you" He handed her the bouquet of flowers and she smiled sweetly as she smelled them. Then it all hit me that this guy right here was Sophia date. Out of all the times I could of come here and told her how I feel I came when Sophia going on a date.

"Oh thank you" She looked up and I could see her eyes were awkwardly looking between myself and this guy. Who I could sense was staring at me. "Sorry Preston this is Ian" I looked at him and faked smiled. He looked a little familiar but I have seen hundreds of people and he looked like a total douche in my eyes.

"Ian?" He questioned while looking at me arching his brow then looking at Sophia "As in your ex Ian?" I didn't like him one bit and I wanted to punch him in the face right then and there. This was a sign I should have never of come here.

"I think I better leave you two to your date" I turned to walk away because seeing this. Seeing the woman that I am actually in love with, another man was too much. It hurt in more ways than one.

"Ian?" Sophia called out to me and I stopped half way down the path and turned to her "You said I need to know something?" She spoke with slight hope in her voice as if in a way she knew why I came. How could I turn her world upside down now? I've ruined her life enough I have to try and let her go.

"It's not important." I smiled at her then looked at Preston "You look after her Preston she's one of a kind" That she was. Sophia was a rare girl and you don't get many like her and I hope that this Preston treats her good.

"Don't I know it" He spoke smugly as he snaked his arm around her waist. Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with. That what I always had with Sophia she wasn't only my lover but my best friend. The chances of getting any of that back were at a lost….


End file.
